Part of my resistance to this job has been the whole routine associated with it. I don’t have enough time for myself, so work/life balance is called into question for me. I never quite understood it before, because I just assumed that I had to work like a dog for some bone that someone would throw me at a later point in my corporate advancement. It’s not like that, though. Very rarely do the promised bones manifest, and when they do they always seem to look larger in the advertisement. The rewards don’t match the hype. Which shouldn’t really surprise folks in advertising, really, but we’re all suckers for the sales pitch in one way or another, or marketing wouldn’t work.
Maybe this is part of the natural shift to the later third of my thirties. Maybe being back in college has dredged up the old emotions and need for variability that got ground out of me slowly back after my first time out of college. Maybe I’m just nuts and need to actually find some kind of work which allows me to be my own boss, give myself my own direction, and pick my own assignments. Well, not like that’s going to happen at the bottom end of the career. And like it or not, this is hitting the reset button on the career itself.
Well, the summer still marches on. I’m getting used to having a regular paycheck again. I’m slowly getting back to the doctors I haven’t been able to afford the past two years. It’s slowly coming into place for me. I just don’t want that place to be here in Connecticut any more. I really don’t. It’s crowded beyond belief. It’s way too expensive. Cost of living here vastly outstrips my salary’s ability to keep up. I know that prices are rising all over the place, but this was already an overinflated housing market, and it’s just getting worse.
Time to find someplace else. Time to go. Every fiber of my being is telling me that it’s time to pack up and ship out from Connecticut. Or at least from Fairfield County. No, Connecticut as a whole. I’ve gotta move. Pushing on. I seriously wish all of my final classes at QU could be finished in the new online program, because I just do -not- want to be tied to CT in any way. If I could move now, I would. If I knew where to move -to-, that is.
Must just be continued hatred of my job.
Tired of this all. Very, very tired of this all. Medicate for success seems to be the only way to make this work. One more semester. One more. Almost done. Just gotta tighten up the proposal for the Thesis. Just gotta get some time in which to actually work on the thesis. Research would be lovely. Time would be lovely, but right now any extra time is getting put aside directly for recovery from the work stressors. So much for work/life balance. Gotta keep looking for different work.